Apparently the Rockets Aren't Solar Powered

As the Fredstrom ponders what life is like in the first person at some distant locale, he has asked me, none other than hypomanic squirrel, to step in and fill in for tonight’s game.

Knowing that the Fredstrom is second to none in standard game recaps, I decided to give all you readers out there a little something different. Call it a Suns commentary, sitting on my couch, hypomanic squirrel style!

6:55pm Tom Leander just called Grant Hill a “Dukie.” For some reason, my fellow squirrels found this extremely funny.

6:58pm Alright, I just saw Leandro Barbosa’s Maytag Store and Raja Bell’s Leslie’s Pool Supplies commercial back to back. Sorry Raja, as much as I like the fact that you play much more under control and are a much better defender, Leandro wins by a landslide on this one.

7:00pm During the Suns introduction, a vague reference to NCAA’s March Madness is made, which makes me remember how poorly I’m doing in my bracket… I need to eat something…

7:02pm Dan Marleje talks about how Raja Bell is going to sit out today’s game with an ankle sprain. I get the feeling this game will a great test to see exactly where the Suns are at in their efforts to upgrade their defensive prowess.

7:04pm I just saw a Banner Children’s Hospital commercial where a child was strolling though the hospital hall smiling ear to ear while magical animated fish swam across the walls. Somehow I think the real experience is slightly different than what they’re making it appear…

7:12pm Amare just dunked the ball over pretty much all five Rockets. That dude is unbelievable. (Suns 2, Rockets 0)

7:15pm Does anybody else think Dikembe Mutombo looks like the claymation creature Gumby? I swear, the resemblance is uncanny.

7:17pm Barbosa just made a three to put the Suns up by a bunch already, prompting a Rick Adleman timeout. Maybe I will purchase something at Leslie’s Pool Supply… wait… wrong commercial. (Suns 12, Rockets 3)

7:22pm Less than half way through the 1^st Quarter and the Suns already have 10 points in the paint, prompting me to realize I really need to be more loyal to the Suns (reference JuiceBox here).

7:26pm Boris Diaw just checked in… we’re going to lose.

7:28pm Two straight solid plays by Giricek; guarding Tracy McGrady tough on one end and driving for a quick layup on the other. Makes the whole Brent Barry rejection go down a little easier. I still hope he lays an egg in San Antonio.

7:29pm Boris Diaw just scored and completed a three point play… we’re going to win! (Suns 31, Rockets 16)

7:31pm It is officially past my bedtime.

7:34pm Loren Woods just checked in at center for the Rockets. Considering the fact that I watched him play intently when he was an Arizona Wildcat, believe me when I say the Rockets must now have serious depth issues at the center position.

7:40pm As the quarter ends, Gary Bender quips, “Ya know, Shaq is having a lot of fun in this game!” Which subsequently prompts the camera to focus in on Shaq, frowning. (Suns 38, Rockets 21)

7:45pm The Rockets are on a 6-4 run… we’re going to lose.

7:46pm Amare just completed a sick three point play followed by a timeout by the Rockets… we’re going to win! (Suns, 45, Rockets 29)

7:51pm In an occurrence that can only be explained by Pavlov’s Operand Conditioning, I’m starting to crave jalapeño nachos.

7:59pm Steve Nash just sank another clutch three. That guy reminds me a lot of myself… (Suns 61, Rockets 41)

8:04pm Boris Diaw lets the ball slip through his fingers and stares at it as the Rockets pick it up and take it down the court… At least he’s keeping his eye on the ball, right?

8:07pm D’Antoni calls a timeout due to the Rockets 10-7 run… we’re going to lose. WHERE ARE YOU JUICEBOX!?

8:10pm Suns go on another run to finish up the 2^nd quarter… we’re going to win! (Suns 74, Rockets 57)

8:15pm I could be wrong, but… wait… yep, Tracy McGrady still has a lazy eye.

8:27pm Am I the only one who thinks Phil Webber wears a toupe? (Suns 77, Rockets 59)

8:33pm Shane Battier, a fellow “Dukie”, …… I lost my train of thought. (Suns 83, Rockets 61)

8:40pm Timeout called by Phoenix, making the score 87-76. When Mutombo scores, you gotta know Phoenix is experiencing some defensive breakdowns. Just need to calm down… take deep breaths… we’ll make it through this…

8:42pm UNBELIEVABLE tip pass from Nash to Diaw for a lay-up. We needed that one… (Suns 89, Rockets 78)

8:45pm Great defense from Stoudemire, tallying up about 4 blocks in one Rockets possession. STAT’S A BEAST BABY!

8:50pm WORST CALL OF THE NIGHT: Foul called on Diaw for apparently breathing on McGrady as he scored on a fastbreak lay-up, thus completing a three-point play. I think I’m going to be sick… (Suns 93, Rockets 85)

8:53pm At the end of the third quarter, Suns lead 95-85. The Rockets seem to slowly be chipping away at the lead while the Suns seemingly can’t buy a bucket. More importantly, chances are looking good that everyone at the game will receive two free Jack in the Box monster tacos.

8:58pm It’s official, everyone gets monster tacos… except me. Now all the Suns need to do is receive the McDonald’s fry coupon. Suns still leading 101-87.

9:06pm With the Suns leading 105-91, I’m starting to run out of things to write.

9:07pm Shaq sweats a lot. (Suns 107, Rockets 93)

9:13pm As much as I just love a close, competitive game, I really need our boys to put away the Rockets so that I can see whether or not Eric Piatkowski is wearing his white nurse-issued orthopedics again. (Suns 107, Rockets 99)

9:15pm Okay, things are really not going… STEVE NASH BABY! Clutch three to stop the bleeding. Man we needed that. (Suns 112, Rockets 101)

9:20pm Shaq gets fouled and subsequently sinks both free throws. I love the way that guy can turn it on when he needs to. Timeout Rockets. (Suns 114, Rockets 105)

9:24pm Game over. Suns win 122-113. For the record, I knew we were going to win the whole time…